Back when I met my wife, she had a friend named Deana (not her real name). Deana was never on time to anything–to the point they had dubbed this “Deana Time.” In addition to showing up for planned events hours late, in what can only be compared to African time, she would never commit to anything.
She really wouldn’t either. I remember one conversation I had with her where she was talking about not having enough money for things. I asked her why she wasn’t using her skills as a dental hygienist and her answer was, “Well, I might miss something.” “Miss what?” “I don’t know–but I might miss something.” This conversation continued for a while as I tried to help give her some insight on her situation. I discovered after a while that her problem wasn’t that she didn’t have money, or that she might miss something. Her problem was fear.
Deana was afraid she would miss out on something, but what she didn’t realize was that she already WAS missing out on things. Because she didn’t have a steady job, she didn’t have the financial security it would provide, and as a senior citizen, she struggled with income even though she was physically capable of working. Lacking the financial backing, anything that cost money outside of her meager budget was out of reach, and the stress and worry she had over her finances added to the problem. In short, she was already missing things–peace of mind for starters, but also other events and activities she would have enjoyed had she gone with the wisdom-option and gotten a job. Yet, the fear of “missing something” continued to hold her back.
I don’t know where Deana is now, ten years later, and I hope that she is in a better position than she was then, but as old habits die hard, I find it sadly unlikely. This is just one example of many as to why emotional healing is so important. When we don’t deal with our inner hurts and fears, we allow ourselves to be unknowingly guided by those fears in daily decisions. As we step into a new year, I encourage you to look at the habits and patterns in your life that hold you back, and consider how you can work toward healthier patterns in this coming year.
If you would like some assistance with developing new patterns, the following links may help:
Inner Healing Ministries