Set the Children Free

When I was a child, I, as all children do, would act out from time to time. Depending on the severity of my behavior or the level of disobedience I might get a quick “stop that” from a parent or if bad enough I would get a severe talking-to with punishment to follow. When this would happen, however, I had the misfortune to regularly do something that my dad would get really angry at–I would smile.

“What are you smiling about?” he would shout.

“I don’t know.” Would be my unconvincing reply. The truth was that I really didn’t know why I was smiling–I just was.

Usually during that lecture I would also receive the fateful question: “Why did you do that?”

Oftentimes my answer would again be “I don’t know.” Unfortunately for me, my dad rarely ever believed me when I gave that answer, although it was usually the honest truth.

 

Fast-forwarding approximately twenty years later, I am helping raise my three step-granddaughters. They are wonderful little people full of energy, creativity, and love. They see us drive by the homeless and they want to share their snack bar or stuffed animal with the man outside the car window. They randomly come into my room in the morning to get cuddles and literally yell my name in excitement when I return home from work. These girls have sweet personalities and honestly, I don’t think they want to upset me or hurt others when they act out. This is why it is such a juxtuaposition when they act poorly without any reason, especially when they are well-fed and have had naps.

I love them a lot and enjoy living with them, most of the time. Interestingly enough, the second of the three smiles when she gets in trouble. I have to say that I can understand now why my dad got so angry because it feels like the child isn’t really taking you seriously when you are upset over their behavior and are trying to communicate that to them. I have mostly tried to chalk it up as nervousness, but even then it hasn’t sat well with me. Incidentally I have also of late had some run-ins with the girls where when asking why they chose a poor option for their behavior (such as randomly hitting their sister when unprovoked) and they would answer “I don’t know.” The oldest did this once recently where she and another sister were cuddling, and she literally just up and hit her sister for no reason. During the conversation I had with her (which was calm and well-reasoned), she again repeated the “I don’t know” mantra as the reason she did so, and as she said this, I realized something: My granddaughters don’t do things like this because they want to, and they really don’t know why they do them. Rather, they are being directly influenced by demons.

 

When I realized what I was seeing was demonic activity I didn’t freak out–there is no reason to. However, that revelation helped me to see that I needed to address some of their problem-behaviors from a different approach than before. When the second oldest is both acting out and smiling about it while I am disciplining her, I need to address the spirit that is behind the behavior and not just her. When the oldest randomly hits her sister for no reason and doesn’t even remember doing it five minutes later, I need to address the root of the problem: demons and their access points.

kids on playground
When I started to do it this way I got highly interesting results. The eldest actually described to me what the demons were doing as I was casting them out. She also told me at one point that the “king” was still in there. Keep in mind that I have never told her that demons operate in clusters and that the head spirit of the cluster works really hard to stay in as long as possible, even to the point of sacrificing other spirits under its command. The youngest was really antsy and unfocused as I began to pray over her, but as spirits left she settled down and had a better attention span. Additionally, when I called a spirit up and commanded it to tell me how many spirits were in there, the spirit, using her voice, said “a lot” I asked again, this time asking for a specific number, and it told me “sixteen.” I have news for you, my three-and-a-half year old granddaughter can count, but not very well. If asked for a number she is going to give me a small number like three or four, not any number over ten. This was a confirmation to me that I was on the right track!

After putting the pieces together and getting results such as the ones above, I am now firmly convinced far more of our discipline problems with children, and not just my grandchildren, are actually a demon problem. How would our parenting styles change if we were able to lead our children into soul-freedom at an early age and heal the inner wounds that give evil spirits access instead of letting them be run around from the inside by hidden spiritual forces of darkness? I’m not suggesting that every time a kid is disobedient that it must, therefore, be a demon, but I do believe we need to change how we deal with children’s problem behaviors differently than we have before. We at minimum need to look at the issue of demons as part of our discipline process.

 

I believe that as we do this, addressing root causes and casting out demons as a normal part of life and child-rearing, we will find our children grow up well-adjusted without all of the problems that normally plague teens and young adults: rampant drug-use, teen pregnancy, gangs, bullying, binge drinking, anorexia, sexual identity crises, etc. If this is a new idea to you and you have children, keep in mind that this realization should create hope in parents, not shame or blame for failing to recognize this problem before now. My oldest granddaughter is seven. Clearly I have missed the boat for a number of years, but thanks to God’s grace the tide is turning and I won’t be waiting another seven years to start figuring it out! Praise God for revelation and deliverance!

 

 

Keeping Focus in the Hard Times

Almost a decade ago, my wife and I got kicked out of our church because we got married. While this may sound strange (and it most certainly was), that is by no means the least of reasons why people have gotten kicked out of churches over time. In fact, I suggest that many of the reasons people are asked to leave a church have a lot to do with control and conformity. I have a friend who was a pastor/church planter who gave his church back to the denomination and all they cared about was the number of attendees and monthly income–to them it was nothing more than a business deal.
As the son of an Episcopal priest, I had grown up in church my whole life. In fact, the way I did spiritual life was integrally connected to how I did church–first with liturgy, and then as I grew up and became more Charismatic in my ways I did it with far less liturgy, but there was still a weekly gathering, sometimes even biweekly, that punctuated my own personal walk with God. Once this was no longer there, I will be honest, I felt at times like I was floating adrift on a wide open sea. This church-life I had grown up depending on was no longer there, and it really threw a wrench in my works.

I didn’t have a problem with personal worship and personal time with God, as I had done that for years, but one of the things I really missed was corporate worship. There is an energy and alive-ness that happens when gathered together in a large group to worship God. There is a heavier activity of angels and glory and power flowing through the room that is simply wonderful to experience. Except for the rare conference (as most of them in the area took place at the church we had been kicked out of or were being run by people who were actively shunning us), my spiritual life was very lonely, and that was new.

One of the hardest things at that time, I think, in addition to dealing with the negative feelings created by this whole ordeal, was that I didn’t have the support system I used to have when things were difficult. Other than my wife, I felt very lonely at that point. I can’t imagine what it must be like for single people who go through this sort of thing! My life had zero of the spiritual trappings it had before, and I didn’t consider that a good thing. I longed for times that felt more spiritually “alive”, but none of my desires changed my current circumstances. While I don’t want to sound like I am whining, this was one of the more difficult periods in my life. The thing I had to learn, differently than I had ever before, was how to keep my focus on God in the middle of problems and difficulties, and when nothing looked like what I had been brought up to understand that life was supposed to look like.

God is the one constant in a changing world. His love for us doesn’t alter itself based on our circumstances or actions, unlike so many others in this world. God is faithful and dependable regardless of what we are going through, and quite often in the most difficult times are when we feel His love the most. There are other times were we are going through hard things and it feels like God is the quietest. I don’t pretend to understand why that happens, as I don’t think God is trying to inflict silence on us to teach us something, but there is something about difficulty that forges us into something entirely new–beings who have been trialed by fire and who have come out on the other side polished and ready to act.

We are in a period of great upheaval in the Church as we shift from the Church Age into the Kingdom Age. Not everyone is aware this shift is happening, and many are struggling to make the transition. I want to encourage you if you are caught somewhere in the middle, with one foot in the church and one foot out, or even as in my case, with both feet up in the air and one’s rear planted firmly on the ground just outside of a church you were kicked out of–You are not alone.

There is more to this life than you have known, and you will make it. There may be difficulties along the way, but a more enriching, deeper walk with Christ is coming just around the corner. It isn’t going to look like you are used to in the old way of doing things, but God isn’t interested in the old ways–he’s interested in your heart. Continue to do things in the ways you used to until you learn how to do them differently, because God isn’t worried about your methods and ways of learning–he’s looking deep on the inside. Do your best to keep yourself open and don’t let the anger, doubt, worries, fears, and other emotions cloud your heart. Your heart is the wellspring of life, and closing it off to others will only shut out those whom God has specially designed in this season to walk with you. Forgive quickly, especially those people who you thought were friends who turned out to be nothing like it. It can be hard to do this, but let those doors shut and keep walking forward. God has new plans for you–plans to prosper you and give you a hope and a future. Life is about to get a whole lot better for you, but it might get a little worse before it gets there. Don’t fear the change because it can’t hurt you–rather, it will transform you. And in the midst of it all, always remember to keep gazing at God’s face. Look into his eyes in your heart and keep your focus there, and even in the hard times, you will always find a way to make it through.

As a Matter of Fairness

balance-weight-scale

Much of my adult life I have been on the low-income side of the financial spectrum, being single with non-skilled work.  Almost ten years ago now I obtained my CNA certification and began to work in a low-paid but skilled trade in healthcare, and three years ago became a Registered Nurse. I am also married and we are a two-income family.  Financially we are not “rich” compared to Western-World standards (although compared to many places in the world we are the 1%), but my wife and I do fairly well for ourselves.

Recently we had our friend Angie visit who used to live in Portland and who we would spend time with regularly. She has been living out of state and is headed to South Africa with the Peace Corps for just over 2 years. While visiting, we took her shopping for some good shoes and other things she would need on her trip that she hadn’t obtained yet. We went to a few different shoe stores and none of them had what she was looking for, so we stopped by the Shoe Mill, one of our favorite places to buy shoes due to the quality of the products that company sells.

Within about twenty minutes my friend Angie had found the shoes she wanted, and she decided to buy two pair, although we would have to pick up the second pair the next day. At checkout the price was just over $200. I asked “Is this for both pair or just one?” It was for one pair. Angie’s face visibly fell when the clerk said this, and I was feeling similarly inside. That’s a LOT of money for two pair of shoes, and what Angie didn’t say to me but I already knew was that she was out of work until she started working with the Corps a few weeks later.

I wordlessly pulled out my wallet, playfully nudged her aside, and swiped my credit card before she had much chance to complain. Friends are like that. She was appreciative, but that’s not why I am sharing this. I have usually been the person in the position to need the help and be grateful when someone decided to step in and pay the bill. I will say that while I have always appreciated the help, it’s an awkward position to be in–feeling like you either can’t pay something or that you can pay it, but it will be a significant financial strain to do so. Angie could have paid for the shoes, but it certainly would have made things more difficult for her in the in-between time she was in.

After buying them, I had a moment where I realized just how blessed I am. I have a good paying job, have most of my financial needs met, and am not generally stressed about money as a result. Instead of being in a position of lack, I was finally able to bless a friend whom I love from the bottom of my heart. I couldn’t help but remember the verse in the New Testament where Paul talked about this.   “For I do not mean that others should be eased and you burdened, but that as a matter of fairness your abundance at the present time should supply their need, so that their abundance may supply your need, that there may be fairness” 2 Corinthians 8:13-14. This feeling was what I felt Paul must have been referring to–that we all have times of lack and times of plenty, and that in our times of plenty it is important to supply the needs of those who lack because we all have times of lack. When we as the Body of Christ step out and become the solution to the problems we see, our abundance supplies someone else’s need, and in a very unfair world we create just a little more fairness. I really hope I am able to get used to giving more to others than they give to me, not out of pride, but because I really like to show people love in practical ways like I mentioned above, and I pray that if you have never experienced something like that before, or if it’s been a long time, that God blesses you with abundance from heaven so that you have far more than you need and can be Heaven’s hand of supply in a time of need, in Jesus’ name. Amen.

 

Blessings to you!

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