Broken But Beautiful

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A few weekends ago, on Saturday, I was at the beach with family and the Lord told me to pick up the broken half-sand-dollar pictured above (Before I put it in my pocket and sat on it, the half was in one piece. Oops). I didn’t understand why, but I did it anyway, and God didn’t explain (It’s called “obedience”). A bit later, I took it out of my pocket and asked Him again why He had me pick it up, and He said to me:

“Even when you are broken, you are beautiful.”

As a stand-alone idea, this might already speak to some of you, and I hope it does. I thought it was a beautiful representation of God’s boundless love for me, and the same applies to you. However, there is a little more back-story to this, and why it touched me so deeply, and I hope it also does the same for you.

I have recently been working with a prayer counseling team for my own inner healing and personal transformation. All of the sessions have been good, and God has been doing really awesome things to bring greater freedom and wholeness into my life, but not every session ends on a high note. The session I had the day before finding this sand dollar left me grieving the loss of some things, and my weekend was emotionally on the rough side. It was important to go through the process, but it was difficult and I felt very broken after the fact. When God spoke to me that even when I am broken, I am beautiful, it made me cry—something I had been doing a lot of that weekend, but this was also healing in its own special way.

What God said to me reminds me of Song of Solomon 1:5, which says, “Dark am I, yet lovely”. The subsequent verses of that passage explain why the woman who makes the above statement feels she isn’t worthy of being loved, but the man explains to her that in spite of what she feels about herself, he sees her as altogether lovely and worth far more than she could imagine.

One of the beautiful things about God is that He is incredibly kind and gentle. When we are going through rough moments, He is there to encourage and uplift us. For everyone reading this who is going through a tough time, and you feel like your inner brokenness is weighing you down, just remember that even when you are broken, you are still beautiful. God loves you, is actively working to bring about good things in your life. In the words of John Lennon, “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” Keep putting one foot in front of the other; keep moving forward. You will make it.

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An Introduction To Soul Fragmentation

In a number of other articles, I have discussed various aspects of inner healing, deliverance, spiritual gifts, and even physical healing, but many of them relate in some way to some basic functions and dysfunction of the soul. I will attempt, here, to provide a basic introduction to soul fragmentation: what it is, how it works, how the enemy uses it to afflict us, and how applying the redemptive power of Jesus to these soul fragments promotes inner wholeness.

Soul fragmentation is a protective mechanism in our soul that is designed to help us deal with difficult emotions, pain, and even physical trauma. The soul takes all of the difficult feelings, balls them up, attaches them to a small portion of the soul, and then separates it from the main core of the soul. This puts the emotions at a bit of a distance and allows the person to continue to function in life in spite of trauma or emotional difficulty. It usually happens when we are not able to properly cope with a situation, which is why fragmentation tends to happen more in children and less-often as adults. By the time one becomes an adult, we usually have developed methods of dealing with difficult situations and the emotions associated with them, so fragmentation tends to happen less frequently. However, it is possible for fragmentation to occur at any age.

The best way I can describe this process is if we think of the soul as a gemstone. When a major issue comes up, the soul-gem pushes all the negative emotions into a corner and breaks a chip off itself, letting the chip with the bad feelings float nearby. That chip is a soul fragment. Now imagine that someone came by and took a hammer to the gem. A bunch of tiny chips would break off of the stone, but there would still be a main core of the stone that, if perfectly reattached, all the chips would fit back in place. A good way of thinking of an emotionally unhealed adult is like the gemstone with a bunch of chips. Each piece has somewhere it belongs, and all of them are able to attach back to the core of the gem. In the analogy, the core of the soul, which is sometimes known as the “presenting personality”, is that big core of the gem. Basically it’s you, the one reading this article and generally living your life. While this is a little confusing, this is all happening on the inside somewhere, in what is essentially an inner dimension. It’s a little difficult to describe, exactly, but we typically refer to this inner dimension as “the system”, and it is where all of these fragmented portions of the soul reside. It’s like if someone had a weightless space where the soul-gem lived and the fragmented chips all orbit the core of the gem in this space.

As mentioned above, the core is the main person, you. All of the other little chips, however, carry memories and feelings from events in one’s life as well, and are also parts of the soul. Inner healing that works with fragments and alters helps these chips get healed of all the painful emotions, and then oftentimes will help them reattach to the core of the soul. Keep in mind here that the soul is basically comprised of the mind, will, and emotions. The curious thing about this is that because each portion of the soul is a legitimate part of one’s personhood, each fragment has its own portion of not just emotions, but of mind and will as well. This means that each portion of the soul can exercise its part of your God-given free will, and because it has its own portion of the mind, it can also think. While this can be a little confusing to those who aren’t used to this concept, it plays out in how the soul actually functions. Scripturally speaking, the term “heart” is usually connected with the soul, not just the physical organ that moves blood around the body. Hebrews 4:12 says, “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” If this passage is to be believed, then the heart has both thoughts and intentions (intention=will), not just emotions.

In the short term, there are no significant implications of a soul fragment having its own thoughts and will, but think about what happens if someone experiences trauma as a young child and it goes unmanaged until someone is in their thirties or forties. That fragment has had three to four decades of independent thought derived from free will and time to develop and grow. As a result, his or her thoughts and actions don’t necessarily line up with the core. Usually this only presents more minimal problems, comparatively, but in some cases the different parts are able to access the body and sort of “take charge” either in conjunction with or instead of the core. This is where we see what is more commonly known as DID, or Dissociative Identity Disorder, where someone has what we refer to as “alters”, short for “alternate personalities”. While very few people have what clinicians would diagnose as DID, to a certain degree it is a meaningless diagnosis considering all humans who have ever lived other than Jesus have or have had fragmented parts of their soul. Yes, everyone has fragments and alters, referred more generally as “parts”.

While this may be hard for some to swallow, here’s why all this matters. When the soul fragments and those emotions are walled off, they are still connected to the core, almost like there is a string attached and those fragments float out in the ethers nearby. Those fragments still have an influence on what the core of the person thinks and feels. The enemy likes to use soul fragmentation as a means of influencing our thoughts, emotions, and actions by tormenting and afflicting the parts, who in turn pass those things to us.

To explain, let’s pretend that the soul is a business group who own a building, and every employee is a voting member. For every situation in life the supervisor takes a vote, and everyone decides what decisions to make. When extreme emotional problems arise, however, it’s like someone piped a poison gas into the building. The supervisor activates the emergency filtration system, and all the poison gets piped into one room, and that room is sealed from the outside. The problem is that the room the poison gas was put into was an employee’s office, and he was still inside. The poison doesn’t kill him right away, so as time goes on and situations come up, he still is involved in the voting, except the poison muddles his thinking and he constantly makes bad decisions. Now, imagine that as time goes on more and more incidents occur, and more and more employees get walled off in rooms full of poison mist. Over time, the number of employees who are still voting but making bad decisions increases to a noticeable level. This is essentially what happens over time, and is part of why soul fragmentation is an issue. The fragmented portions of the soul are still connected to the core, and influence daily life but from an unhealthy standpoint.

To make matters worse, demons target fragments and alters because they are easier to afflict that the core of the person. If we go back to the soul-gem analogy, remember that we have those fragments floating in space orbiting the core, and each one is attached by a string. When demons afflict a fragment, they are usually trying to create fear or anxiety or some other negative issue, and because the fragment is connected to the core, those feelings travel up that string and the core starts to feel that fear or anxiety or other feelings too. This is where irrational fear comes from. Everyone has fears that are not based on bad things that have happened to us. People rarely have been injured by clowns, but sometimes they cause inexplicable fear anyway. That fear encounter is actually a part that is experiencing that fear, usually with demonic torment involved, and the fear travels up the string until you are feeling that fear as well. This is why the fear is unexplainable, but you still feel it anyway. You don’t have the bad memory—the part does. You don’t have the thoughts of fear or concern, but the mind of the part does, so while you aren’t having fear-thoughts, you suddenly have irrational fear-feelings, and become affected by it.

When we get “saved”, and Jesus comes into our hearts, what happens is that our core gets saved, and oftentimes a number of fragments do as well. However, typically not all fragments get saved at that time. While this is sometimes difficult for people to understand, and even harder to accept as truth, Isaiah 61:1 offers us some keys. It says, “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners . . .” The term “brokenhearted” can also be translated as “those whose hearts have shattered into pieces”. If we recall again that the heart refers to the soul, it is talking about soul fragmentation. Jesus comes to un-shatter our fragments and bring us healing. However, consider the rest of that verse—Jesus proclaims freedom for captives and release from darkness for prisoners. Sometimes fragments and alters are not just captive, but are imprisoned in darkness by the demonic somewhere inside the system (or at times outside the system).

The Bible refers to “strongholds” of the mind, and if we take it more literally, think of demons setting up an enemy fort inside the system somewhere. These fragments get captured and imprisoned inside the fort, and sometimes get brainwashed into working as guards. When Jesus comes into someone’s life, the core gets saved and Jesus basically sets up His own Kingdom inside the system. The job, then, is for Jesus to take all the captives and prisoners and bust them out of the strongholds and bring them into His kingdom. For whatever reason, this doesn’t all take place instantly for all parts when the core receives salvation, so it can often be a process of gradually getting more and more parts saved and set free. This is also why when people preach about “grace” and the “finished works” of the gospel as being all one needs for freedom in Christ, sometimes people still struggle and it feels like the gospel isn’t working the way it is supposed to. The thing is that it is working, it’s just that some parts are still captive and haven’t been influenced by the power of the gospel yet.

When I first understood this fact, so many things started to make much more sense. You see, I am a firm believer that everything has to make sense, and that if something works one way for one person and another way for another person, there are definable reasons why that is the case. If one person gets set free from problems by receiving the gospel but someone else is still having major struggles in that area spite of receiving that same salvation message, there have to be other factors at play that influence why those two people have different experiences.

Mind renewal is a key part of receiving the life of Christ. When we renew our minds as Romans 12:2 tells us, we get to enjoy and experience the good things God has for us. However, we have to remember that fragments each have a portion of our mind. And by mind, I’m not saying that each part occupies a portion of the brain. A friend who is a trained psychologist told me that it is believed in modern psychology that all fragments and alters (he refers to them as “ego states”) are located in the hypothalamus. What I am saying is that the mind and brain are different entirely. The mind is an other-dimensional reality where we have thoughts in some inexplicable way, whereas the brain is the physical means by which we experience those thoughts and they influence our body to perform certain actions. The portion of our mind that is our core is usually the one directly accessing the brain, but every other fragment and alter also has their own mind, or portion of our total mind, and they have their own thoughts. It’s a little bit like how the Bible says that we have the mind of Christ, not I have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16).

When we get saved we renew our mind (that of the core), but the mind of each part needs to be renewed as well (and ideally eventually integrated into the core in most cases). Once each part’s mind is renewed, typically whatever the issue was that was brothering one will evaporate, demons sometimes leave automatically as they are unable to remain any longer, and the person experiences true and lasting freedom. Failure to recognize and address this is a major barrier to walking out all God has for us, but when we understand how the soul works, get fragments and alters freed from demonic strongholds, get the negative emotions they carry healed, and then get them to renew their portion of our mind, then freedom flows. Oftentimes, as this happens we can integrate them back into our core self as well, so there is no longer an “us” but we become an “I”.

One objection to this teaching is that we are somehow nullifying or making weaker the power of Jesus to set people free through the “simple gospel” by making things confusing or complex, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. The fact is that the “simple gospel” only ever has a certain measure of effectiveness at causing permanent life change in an individual. While some might find that offensive, it’s a fact. I don’t know that anyone reading this has ever met someone who never has a negative thought, struggle, or life issue. Jesus is the only one who was never fragmented in soul. Certainly I believe that in Christ we can become fully integrated once again, but Jesus is the only one who never had that problem, and never had issues outside of people who were demonically influenced to attack him. The rest of us, in spite of having instant salvation, still have to walk out an ongoing sanctification process. I suggest that ongoing sanctification work is in part the gradual freeing of fragments and alters.

I actually agree with people who teach the “finished works” message that the “simple gospel” is all we need, but that’s only under the condition that every part of the person actually gets to experience that transformative power of the gospel. That not-happening is why some people can struggle with issues over time in spite of repeated attempts to renew their minds and “get” the gospel message. It’s because the problem isn’t with them (the core), it’s with another part. Why would Isaiah 61:1 say that Jesus binds up the brokenhearted in the emotional realm, and then suddenly in the same sentence repetitively twice talk about setting physical people free. Captives are those who are taken unwillingly or unlawfully, while prisoners are those who have committed wrongdoing and are captives lawfully, but in context I suggest this is all taking place in the soul realm. If there weren’t any captives or prisoners in the soul then the Bible wouldn’t reference them, but since it does reference them, then we should probably pay attention.

This is an overview of the basics of soul fragmentation: what it is, how it works, how the enemy uses it to afflict us, and how applying the gospel to each parts sets us free. There are special cases where people have significantly more fracturing than others, typically in cases of government-sponsored mind control or Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA), but this is a general overview of how the soul functions to manage painful emotions, how the enemy uses that, and how the gospel sets us free. I have written numerous other articles on the subject as a whole, and if one wants to learn more about the subject I encourage you to read any of the articles in the Fragments, Alters, Parts, and DID category.

Inner Healing: A Key To Immortality In Christ

A few weekends ago my wife and I were blessed to spend an evening with friends. We had dinner together, then hung out in the living room for a while talking about a variety of things, but one subject that stuck out to me was inner healing. Inner healing is very important to me, as I believe it is one of the primary ways we become able to step into the fullness of all that Christ has for us. It’s not so much that inner healing helps us grow, but it removes all of the hindrances that keep us stagnating in our spiritual walk so that nothing can prevent us from moving forward. What struck me about the conversation wasn’t the subject as a whole, although I did learn a few things, but something specific that my buddy Steve pointed out.

He noted that Jesus was sinless, so the power of death wasn’t at work in him, which isn’t new information, but what struck me is that Steve also pointed out that Jesus didn’t have any emotional wounding, and therefore his soul wasn’t fragmented—he was possibly the only human alive who has ever remained totally whole. While this might not sound significant to some people, it was deeply meaningful to me. (For some background, read “An Introduction to Soul Fragmentation“).

In my ongoing pursuit of immortality in Christ, I keep my eyes and ears open for information and revelation on the subject, and when I heard this, I knew it was an important key. However, for it to make sense, one has to understand something else Steve was explaining—how the enemy uses the mechanism of a fractured soul to afflict us and prevent us from living in the fullness Jesus purchased for us. When we have parts of our soul still under demonic bondage, we cannot fully live out everything that God has for us. Furthermore, demons cause ongoing death, loss, and destruction (John 10:10), so it should be of little surprise to us that having parts of our soul being tormented by the enemy can harm us as a whole. In fact, because each part of our soul possesses a portion of our free will, it is actually possible for a part of us to sin in some way even though the rest of our being is uninvolved, and we all know that sin causes death (Romans 6:23).

I should clarify here before moving on that I do believe there are men and women alive on the earth today who have lived for hundreds of years, and recognize their souls may or may not still be in some level of fragmentation (Having not met any of them personally, I don’t know one way or the other). I think that these individuals have probably touched on various aspects of this revelation of immortality in Christ, and as such are living out of the fruit of that revelation, whatever it may be. It’s also entirely possible they have hit on this point as well, but it’s not likely all of them have. Why do I say this? I don’t want anyone to think that having one’s soul made whole is a prerequisite to immortality, because I don’t think it is. However, I do think that as we pursue this revelation, that every key moves us one step closer to the goal.

In nursing and medicine, when treating people’s pain we do something called “multimodal pain management.” What that means in simple terms is that we will give someone a few different medications, each of which do different things and connect with different receptors, all with the ultimate goal of managing pain. One medication works on nerves, another on inflammation, another on relaxing muscles that are influencing the pain, and still another on the actual sensation of pain in the central nervous system. All of these together do a better job of pain management than simply using one of them, but any single one of those medications when used by itself will still help reduce pain.

How this relates to immortality is that I personally believe in a sort of multimodal approach to immortality in Christ. Some people firmly believe in taking communion daily as the key. Others focus on getting an inner revelation and mind renewal. Still others believe that growing our faith in this area is the way to go. As my buddy Steve helped me identify in this conversation, inner healing is yet another key to walking out this revelation. I personally believe that all of the above are relevant, and that we should make use of any and all of them.

If you want to learn more about this subject, I encourage you to pick up a copy of my book “The Gospel of Life and Immortality,” on Amazon, available on both Kindle and in Print. You can also check out my articles in the Resurrection and Immortality category here on the site.

Jesus Reveals His Kindness

Back when I was helping run conferences for a local ministry, the staff and volunteers would aim to start each morning with a time of prayer before we got started and let all the attendees in the doors for the day. This was sometimes a challenge because the doors usually weren’t locked, so there was no real way of keeping people out. Sometimes we would just have random attendees join us for our morning prayer, which was cool in its own way simply because we are all part of the body of Christ and everyone is able to contribute in their own unique way even if they aren’t on the official ministry team for a certain event.

At any rate, one morning we finished praying as a group, and a volunteer had some physical issue they needed prayer for, so I prayed for him or her and the pain left. One of the attendees standing there then also requested prayer because she had back pain that was bothering her. I prayed for her and the pain immediately left, which I thought was pretty good, but what she told me next really touched my heart.

After thanking me for prayer, she told me that she had been praying on the way to the event for her back pain to go because she didn’t want to have to take narcotics and have her mind muddled from pain meds while listening to the message. When I prayed for her and Jesus healed her back, it not only fixed her problem, but it made it so she could be alert and mentally focused for the message that session.

I love all of the cool things that God does when believers gather together, and conferences are usually a great time to see Him move in exciting ways, but some things stick out to me far more than others. This one stuck with me because it is such a poignant and yet exceedingly simple demonstration of the kindness of Jesus.

For ongoing followers of my blog, you already know that one of the things about God that touches my heart the most is His kindness, and one of the ways I see that most blatantly revealed is when He manifests divine healing. Of all of the attributes of God that could totally overwhelm me, if I had to pick a single attribute that first comes to mind, it isn’t his holiness, although that would be overwhelming too. It isn’t his justice, or his goodness, or even His love, all of which could fit the bill. The kindness of Jesus cannot be overstated, because His kindness is a manifestation of His incredible and inexhaustible love.

Author Max Lucado is one of my dad’s favorite authors, and he explains this in a way that I really like. In a blog article on this same subject (https://maxlucado.com/listen/the-kindness-of-jesus/), he put it this way: “We are quick to think of Jesus’ power, his passion, and his devotion. But those near him knew and know God comes cloaked in kindness. ‘Love is kind’ writes Paul. David agrees, ‘Your lovingkindness is better than life’ (Psalm 63:3).” While I can’t pretend that my life is always perfect, I am always certain that God’s kindness toward me will never run out, and that’s something I can rest in.

I pray that your life is touched anew with a revelation of the kindness of Jesus. What are some ways He has demonstrated His kindness in your life?

Bearing Fruit That Lasts

As I said recently in a social media post, “Inner healing isn’t always fun, but it is always worth it. Sometimes the fruit isn’t instantly evident, but that’s how we’ve been trained to believe and expect things to happen in our microwave Western culture. The question we have to ask ourselves is not “does this look nice and tidy” but “does it bear fruit that lasts? (John 15:16a)”

Inner healing should bear positive results over time, but the unpopular truth is that it doesn’t necessarily mean that at the end of every session someone will feel more peaceful, joyful, or even more hopeful. Certainly one could make the argument (and many do) that if God was in it, then one should leave a session of inner healing with more fruit of the Spirit as a whole, and while that is usually true, it simply isn’t always true. Sometimes part of the inner healing process involves grieving things that you let go of. Grief doesn’t look very much like hope, joy, or peace. So while inner healing may be good, and healthy, and helpful, it is also a process.

One of the struggles of the inner healing movement is that it sometimes looks very counterproductive from the outside. What I mean by that is that if someone goes through deep inner healing and starts uncovering repressed memories of childhood abuse, traumatic circumstances that have caused PTSD, or other painful memories of past events, the long-term result will eventually be wholeness. In the short term, however, there may be an increase in emotional triggers and a grieving process for things that have been lost may occur. Mind you, Holy Spirit is the Counselor and Comforter, and during this process, He is ever-present to give both counsel and comfort, but that doesn’t always mean everything is fixed in ten seconds. To the outside observer, this tends to make things appear like they are making things worse instead of better, but that’s only if the goal is instant results instead of fruit that will last.

On the other hand, sometimes inner healing ministers, coaches, and counselors can be their own worst enemy. Certainly, there are conditions and circumstances that tend to take a lot of time and energy to wade through. At the same time, not every person or situation requires that same level of depth. If there is a high level of Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA), Freemasonry, or other bloodline-related issues in a family line, those can take a good bit of time and energy to unravel, and even moreso if the individual is an SRA survivor as well. While bloodline issues tend to far more prevalent than we wish they were, the good news is that not everyone falls into those categories, and not every situation requires years of inner healing work to unravel.

The best thing we can do for ourselves and our families is to get inner healing early and often. I say early because the sooner one deals with things in his or her family line, the better one’s future will be, and this is also passed down to any children one has as well. If people get inner healing as children or teens, they won’t have the same level of problems as if someone is fifty and just beginning the journey. I say often because life throws things at us on an ongoing basis. Whether it is something as simple as remembering to forgive a coworker who upset us or something more complex such as breaking off occult curses that have recently been sent our way, engaging this process often, even if only to a minimal degree, ensures we not only maintain but continue to progress in our personal journeys to wholeness.

While Jesus is the Healer and Savior and delivers us from our distress, even He went through difficulties and problems. The Bible says in Isaiah 53:3a that, “He was despised and rejected— a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. (NLT)” In Hebrews 12:2b it says of Jesus that, “For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Jesus knew that some of the things he would go through would be exceedingly difficult. It was so hard that in Luke 22:42a Jesus even asked “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me . . .” The difficulty Jesus faced at that time was more emotional than anything else. He knew what He was getting Himself into, and He really didn’t want to do it. Yet as Hebrews 12:2 says, Jesus endured all of the pain and difficulty, grief, sorrows, and shame because He recognized that on the other side would be great joy.

At the end of the day, whether the issues in one’s life are simple and easy to move through or extremely complex, highly traumatic, and difficult to deal with, it is important for us to remember that we need to be looking not just for short-term easy solutions, but for long-term fruit.

Inner Healing Encounters: Guardians Assemble!

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As a strong proponent of inner healing and deliverance, from time to time I learn new things. Recently, I was taking a little time to do some inner healing on myself, but kept getting interrupted by demonic activity inside my system (for some background, read these posts about systems and fragments and alters.) Normally, I have all the parts with a particular issue or emotion gather into one location in the system, then I pray a prayer for us as a group out loud, and usually, most every part receives healing for that issue. We kept getting interrupted in a variety of ways inside by the demons which prevented me from getting anything done.

Honestly, it was annoying. I’m used to it because this is common when I do work on myself, but it is still annoying. On this particular occasion, however, inspiration struck. I had a bunch of guardian parts fend off the demons while I did inner healing with everyone else, and it worked great! Then, I asked all the parts who were ready to integrate to raise their hand, which they did. I then prayed for all of them to integrate not into my core/main/presenting self (ie. Me), but into all of the guardians. What this did is it gave each of the guardians a larger portion of my soul, and thus made them each a little bit stronger. I’ve done this before in other situations and with other people and it has worked well, so I did it here to good effect. I could sense the guardian parts not only getting stronger, but they had an easier time keeping the demons away as well! Since it worked, I continued to do some more inner healing without interruptions thanks to those parts doing a great job protecting everyone inside the system.

To back up a little bit, let me explain what a guardian is. As best as I understand it, a guardian is a fragment or alter who has become a protector of other parts or things inside the system. Unhealthy guardians often prevent inner healing work from getting done because they see the prayer counselor and sometimes the presenting personality as threats to the well being of them and those under their protection. On the other hand, a healthy guardian is not just experienced at some level of spiritual warfare, but is going to work with you to get things done. Knowing this, I leveraged their influence and it worked well.

I posted a status about this on social media and a friend asked how it made them feel. These were healthy guardians, so they handled it just fine as far as I could tell. If they hadn’t been, I don’t actually think the method would even have worked. On the other hand, I also don’t think it’s a fantastic idea to only integrate parts into other parts. Most of the time if I integrate a part, whether working with myself or someone else, I do it to the main self, and if I am ever unsure what to do, I ask the Holy Spirit for guidance. So while I don’t plan to constantly integrate parts into the guardians, I think I’ve got myself a new tool for inner self-healing, and from what I can tell self-inner-healing tools that work with fragments and alters are growing in demand.

#AvengersAssemble
#GuardianPartsForTheWin
#BrokenToWhole

If you want to learn more about working with fragments and alters and doing inner healing on your self and/or others, consider the following book I coauthored with other inner healing ministers, authors, and survivors of Satanic Ritual Abuse called Broken To Whole.

You might also be interested in some other self-healing exercises and related articles:

http://www.thekingsofeden.com/2016/12/did-self-healing-integrating-fragments-and-alters/

http://www.thekingsofeden.com/2017/09/focus-healing-fragments-alters/

What Do You Do When The Inner Healing Is Done?

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This past week a friend and I completed her inner healing. Yes, I get that it sounds strange to say that. It feels strange to say it. But it’s true; we have finished, to the best of our knowledge, doing inner healing with her. Is it possible we missed some small issue somewhere that is still lingering? I suppose. But at some point, if we believe inner healing prayer heals things, then it can’t actually last forever, can it? Let me put it another way. The enemy has a finite set of resources to use in each of our lives. Usually, demons work to create trauma and pain in our lives to develop strongholds—strategic points inside our hearts where they have carved out a space to live, and from those broken places, expand their reach within a person to cause more problems. When all inner wounding is healed, and all demons cast out, there simply isn’t anything left to fix. Since there is a limited amount of inner wounding that people have, and because we are healing it through prayer far faster than new emotional wounds can occur, eventually it all gets fixed. This sounds great, and it is, but what do you do when the inner healing is done? Once someone is “all better”, what is the next step?

Think about what the Bible says about sin. It says that because we are in Christ, all sin has been cut off from us. If we are sin-free, and there isn’t anything to fix, do we suddenly become the wisest, kindest, most self-actualized human beings on the planet? Of course not! Inner healing is no different. Inner healing removes negatives. It puts an end to old emotional patterns, stops negative cycles of sowing and reaping based on pain, trauma, and abuse, and sets us free from being drawn back in to our past dramas and issues. But once we are set free, again, we don’t suddenly morph into sages. After all the healing is done, we still have a growth process ahead of us. So what does that look like?

Only part of the process of personal growth is past-healing. That’s the inner healing and deliverance part. The rest are forward-focused, which looks like renewing the mind and growing in wisdom, knowledge, and character. Another way of thinking about this is that we grow in the fruit of the spirit and in our relationship with God and have our minds transformed to be like His. Even when we have fixed all the bad stuff, that doesn’t mean we are mature. However, it does mean that we are free to walk into maturity without hindrances. Hebrews 12:1-2a says, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.” Inner healing lets us throw off everything that hinders, but it doesn’t mean we are running our race forward. That’s the next step. This is the part where we learn the things that challenged us before: how to manage money better, how to have healthy relationships, how to make healthy boundaries, and much more. So how do we do that?

There are many ways to facilitate this, including self-help books, life coaching, and more. My friend Jeremy Mangerchine has written a book, The Table and the Dream, that looks at the question “What do you do now that you’re free?” I highly recommend this book as a good starting place on the journey forward after inner healing (and it’s still useful even if you’re still on the journey). If you haven’t begun your own inner healing journey, or want ways to move forward in your own process, I recommend you try the following:

Check out my coauthored book Broken to Whole: Inner Healing for the Fragmented Soul. Consider using the Fragment Finder” flower essence along with it.
Praying Medic’s book Emotional Healing in 3 Easy Steps
Karol Truman’s book Feelings Buried Alive Never Die
Other blog posts: Five Steps To Emotional Healing, The Weight of Sorrows, and the Divine Healing That Works series
Use Flower Essences by Freedom Flowers – designed to help release the negative emotions and make it easier to receive inner healing, there is a free intro course you can sign up for at the bottom of the home page .

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A Word of Knowledge In A Dream

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This past Friday morning I woke up from a peculiar dream. The dream is as follows:

I am in a church that is a lot like Life Center, a church I used to attend. I am up front on stage with a small group of people who are calling out words of knowledge and ministering to the people in the audience. The woman who goes right before me calls out a word of knowledge for some condition God wants to heal and then announces that she will pray for the first three people to come up front. It strikes me as odd that she limits how many people she will pray for, but it is my turn next.

I tell the crowd what God is showing me, which is that He is healing people with jaw conditions of any kind, including tooth problems and another word I can’t think of but which deals with jaw pain. A few moments later I am able to remember the name, which is TMJ. I announce all of this, and a bunch of people all over the auditorium stand up. As there are far too many to pray for individually in a reasonable amount of time, I pray over all of those who are standing, and half of them get healed. I tell the rest of them to come up for prayer. Then the dream ends.

Upon waking, I found the dream somewhat perplexing. While I absolutely love the idea of healing dozens of people under the anointing, there was no context in my life to identify its relevance. While I used to be part of a local ministry that put on conferences, I resigned a few months ago and am not currently in a position where I would expect to be ministering on stage in front of a group.

While the dream was Friday morning, that evening I brought some friends to go listen to a buddy of mine speak and minister about resurrection power and abundant life. At the end of his message, he asked everyone who had gone with him to India last November to come up and be the prayer team. Other than my friend, there were 5 of us from the trip present, so we all went up to pray for people.

At this moment I was now standing in the front of a church getting ready to pray for the sick and injured when my dream that morning suggested I would be doing exactly that. Furthermore, the name of the church I was in was “Life Church”, very similar to the name of the church in my dream. It didn’t really hit me until a short time later, and what really drove it home was the second person I prayed for, who needed healing for her . . .

. . . TMJ.

And upon praying, God healed her jaw.

It was that moment that I realized that I was living out the dream I had that morning. Again, keep in mind that nowhere in the natural could I have expected this outcome. I have a dream of being in front of a church group and get a word of knowledge in the dream about people needing healing for TMJ. That night I am called upon by a friend unexpectedly to be on the ministry team, and one of the three people I prayed for has that condition!!

This is a perfect example of divine guidance that comes forth in a dream. God wants to give us revelation in our dreams and speak to us things that He wants us to know. This particular dream was still a little interpretive, but the main details of the dream played out pretty closely in real life. Presumably, God gave me that dream in advance to show me about what would happen that evening, but I failed to realize it until it was already happening. Why did He reveal that to me knowing that I would misunderstand? I don’t know. Maybe because it encouraged the woman I was praying for? Possibly because He is trying to teach me something new about dreams, or healing, or other life circumstances? I’m not sure.

What I do know is that regardless of how simple or complex our dreams are, God wants to speak to us while we sleep. The question to ask ourselves is, “Are we listening?”

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Faith and Patience Inherits The Promises

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As a nurse, I take care of a lot of sick and injured people, and that can be emotionally hard sometimes. Much more difficult, however, is having a family member who has health problems. After years of dealing with a gradually worsening health situation, with some recent interventions that looked extremely hopeful but have been much more disappointing than expected, it has been difficult to stay encouraged, especially when my loved one suffers daily.

What is possibly even more upsetting is the fact that I have prayed many, many times for her healing, and it’s not like I am a novice at healing the sick. I have prayed for many people to be healed of a range of conditions, with a decent measure of success, and there are times when it feels like it is far easier to heal a random stranger (whom I care about far less than my family, although I do care) than it is to heal my family members. There also seems to be an irritating trend among faith-healers that we seem to be able to heal many people, but with our own families, things don’t seem to work as they should. And while I don’t accept that as an immutable rule, it does appear to be a trend that I have yet to understand the full reason behind.

So, for those reading who think they have the “simple, easy solution” for this healing problem, and I “just need to do this or that”, when I am feeling discouraged about a loved one not getting healed, I’m willing to bet that 99% of the time, I have already tried whatever the faith-filled suggestion is. The present situation has been after years of prayer and fasting combined with medical interventions, and an awful lot of faith. To me, when all of this has gone into the situation and still no results, it seems pretty reasonable to be discouraged when it feels like I can do very little to solve the problem. And let’s be honest, at the end of the day, right or wrong, we all want results.

Well, after some very recent setbacks, and feeling pretty down, I spent some time crying, basically hiding from my family in part of the house so they wouldn’t see me crying and get more upset themselves. Then I connected with a close friend by phone who was, as always, super encouraging, and who was entirely unable to fix the problem too, but just continued to love and encourage me during my struggle. As all of this was happening, I was also spending time in prayer and asking the Lord to give me wisdom on how to move forward, because I know a few things pretty clearly:

1) This problem is not the will of God, because He is good and this is evil.
2) This problem was not given by God, but by the enemy.
3) Jesus already said “yes” to healing the problem 2000 years ago on the cross.
4) God already has a plan to fix the problem in the here-and-now.

As I was praying, I felt God tell me something, and remind me of something else. First, He just kept telling me what a good job I was doing. While it sounds lovely, I find it frustrating at times when He tells me that, because I can get extremely results-oriented and when I am doing everything I know to do to solve a problem and it still isn’t getting fixed, being told how great I am doing can be maddening. However, as I thought about it, Him telling me this reminded me to be less results-focused and to just continue to love well through the process, something my buddy also pointed out. Second, I was reminded that it’s not just faith that gets the job done, but patience.

In Hebrews 6:10-12 Paul wrote to the church and said, “God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, so that what you hope for may be fully realized. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.”

Sometimes it can be hard, very hard, to pray in faith and not see an answer. And sometimes that can go on for years, and it still feels like nothing is happening. But there has never been a single prayer prayed in the history of humanity that God has not responded to in some way, so even when it feels like nothing is happening, we have to look at things from a heavenly view and ask God what He is doing. Next, we have to be patient.

My friends know that especially when it comes to healing prayer, I’m not particularly patient. I expect results now, and if they don’t happen now, then I pray again and expect them now. And again right now, and again right now, until it happens . . . right now. And patience in healing prayer is something God has been gently teaching me about, and I am gradually learning. However, I still firmly believe that instant results should be our preference.

Even while expecting instant results, we have to be people who are invested in a long term view of things. When it comes to praying for healing, or salvation, or really, praying for anything else, do we have a long game? Anyone can be faith-filled for five minutes. Anyone can pray a powerful-sounding prayer and then dash away, onto the next thing to pray about and/or problem to solve. It takes a lot more perseverance to stick things through and week after week, month after month, year after year continue to believe God for the things He has already promised to give us. It takes another level of character to do all of this and not get angry with God or blame Him in the process.

I wish that things happened much faster in the spirit realms than they sometimes do. I am fervently looking toward the day my family is healed and whole with no pain and problems, and continue to hope, pray, and stand in faith for that outcome. Nevertheless, am I willing to stick it out with both faith and patience? The truth is that faith without patience simply will not inherit certain promises. Faith for a short time that then wavers and dies is insufficient to obtain certain things from God. Not because God is withholding from us, but because the enemy is. Not because God is being stingy, but because some results require far more than a one-time prayer to obtain.

So, as I bring this to a close, I want to challenge the reader with this: in areas of your walk with Jesus Christ that you are struggling, do you have what it takes to walk out a long game if needed? If not, what do you need to do to get the patience, perseverance, and endurance so that you can?

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. . . If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” Matthew 7:7-8, 11

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Raising The Dead: Processing Vicarious Trauma and Grief

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One of the topics I occasionally write about is the subject of raising the dead according to Jesus’ command found in Matthew 10. Because it has been treated as a somewhat fringe topic, fairly few people teach in-depth on this subject. In my own journey to follow Christ, I’ve discovered some lesser-known details regarding the process of pursuing resurrection for those who have passed on. Today I want us to look at the vicarious trauma and grief associated with praying to raise the dead.

A first question (and a very good question) is “what are vicarious trauma and grief?”

According to the American Counseling Association, Vicarious Trauma (also known as secondary trauma or compassion fatigue) is the “emotional residue of trauma” that people experience as they help others process through their own pain, trauma, and problems.* While typically associated with counselors, nurses and caregivers, doctors, and emergency personnel/first responders, vicarious trauma can ultimately happen to anyone who is exposed to the pain of others on an ongoing basis.

Grief is a deep level of sorrow associated with loss, usually involving the death of a loved one. A friend tends to identify grief with “the acceptance that something bad has happened.”

Grief is a normal, accepted part of the process of losing a loved one, and vicarious trauma is typically only associated with picking up and carrying the pain of others that is not your own. Thus, if dealing with death one will typically either grieve the death of a loved one or experience vicarious trauma from someone else’s pain and loss, but not both.

In chapter 11 of my book Faith To Raise The Dead, I talk about how to stay encouraged while believing for the dead to be raised. While I don’t address the subject of grief specifically in that chapter, I believe it is a barrier to standing in faith to raise the dead. However, we are also human and we cannot stuff that grief down forever. When I involve myself into a resurrection attempt, I invest my heart in it. I try to save any grieving until after a burial, but if it creeps through along the way, I spend a little time crying and/or getting over it, then I keep pressing through in prayer to see a miracle happen. It is true as believers that we weep with those who weep and mourn with those who mourn, and I have found this most especially true when dealing with death in situations like these. The reason I believe ignoring or pushing past grief is important is because we are literally praying so that the problem that causes the grief will disappear. Thus, it doesn’t make any sense, nor does it seem to be a faith-filled stance, to me, to grieve someone’s death while praying for their return.

Picking up the grief in the situation is, I think, a normal thing to have happen. However, there comes a point where it goes beyond simply grieving someone else’s loss and moves into the realm of vicarious trauma. Some view this as the difference between sympathy, which is feeling pain for someone else’s problem, and empathy, which is understanding someone else’s pain in their problem. I suppose this is true by definition, but when we engage our hearts into something like raising the dead, it is hard not to sympathize, and in some ways, I think it is unhealthy. If we remain entirely aloof from the process, how engaged can we really be in the outcome?

When it comes to raising the dead, I have found that vicarious trauma is a very real thing, which is something I never considered when I began a serious journey to raise the dead seven to eight years ago. As we come in contact with the pain, grief, and loss of others, it becomes hard to distance onself, and that pain that we pick up over time can add up. In the end, it is a heavy weight to carry, and at times it has weighed me down. In situations like these, the only solution I have is to spend time with God. The Bible says of Jesus that his yoke is easy and his burden is light, so I spend some time in prayer, often with tears, trading my burdens for His, and releasing my baggage to Him.

Now, considering I want to help people step into the reality of resurrection power and successfully raise the dead, why am I talking about this? Wouldn’t it be better to leave out the ugly details and emotional pain that comes with it? Sure, that might be enough to get someone to put their foot in the door, but it isn’t going to make them last. It certainly won’t help them persevere when things get rough. The Bible has some advice on the subject that I think is highly relevant and very important for us to consider. In Luke 14: 28-35 it says:

“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’

“Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Won’t he first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.

“Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; it is thrown out.

“Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.”

This passage admonishes us to look at what we are getting ourselves into before we set out to do something. If we don’t, the reminder is that we are at risk for failure. It is the scriptural equivalent of “look before you leap.” As I read the Luke passage, something else stuck out to me that I find poignant and directly related to resurrection. If we consider that we are the salt of the earth, if we lose our saltiness, how can we “get fixed” again? When I become too burdened by vicarious trauma, the only way I can “regain my salt” is to lay it all at the feet of Jesus. I make use of practical earthly tools (such as Good Grief, a flower essence for emotional healing), but in the end, I cast my cares upon Him because He cares for me.

Praying to raise the dead is an emotional process. There is nothing enjoyable about praying for a dead baby to return to life, and it is even more painful when the baby doesn’t rise and you hand it back to the mother knowing full well that in that moment, you failed to successfully release the power of God to solve the problem. When those situations happen, we have to know that we are all-in, and we have to know how to lay the grief and trauma at the feet of Jesus so we can heal, get up again, and keep pursuing the abundant, powerful, resurrection life of Jesus Christ to display it to the world.

If you want to learn more about raising the dead I encourage you to do the following:

1. Sign up for our Raise the Dead Initiative mailing list here to receive updates and connect further.

2. Get some books. I have written two books on the subject: Practical Keys to Raise the Dead and Faith to Raise the Dead. Practical Keys is a series of excerpts from Faith To Raise The Dead, all of which give practical advice for when you are actively praying to raise someone at that time. Faith To Raise The Dead goes more into theology, but has a chapter devoted to resurrection testimonies, an appendix in the back of faith-building scriptures to help you pray for the deceased to return to life, and I answer a lot of common and even difficult questions surrounding the subject.

Tyler Johnson, founder of the Dead Raising Team has written multiple books on the subject as well: How to Raise the Dead and The Dead Are Raised. Be sure to check out Father Hebert’s encouraging book Saints Who Raised The Dead for pages upon pages of uplifting testimonies about saints in history who have raised the dead in Jesus’ name.

3. Join the Raise the Dead Initiative on Facebook. The Raise the Dead Initiative is a group I started to help the Body of Christ grow in this area, and I will eventually develop an RDI teaching curriculum to train believers to pray for and raise the dead. You may also be interested in The Dead Raising Team (DRT) and Dead Raising Campaign Facebook groups.

4. Look at how you can host or attend a School of Resurrection in your area. Contact Tyler Johnson via his website at http://www.oneglance.org/ to arrange the event. Tyler is an awesome man of God and good friend who regularly teaches Schools of Resurrection to help transform our understanding on the subject of resurrection life. He has Dead Raising Teams around the world who are ready to mobilize in their area to release the abundant life of Jesus Christ. You can also head over to Gumroad to buy and download a complete Resurrection School Audio Series.

5. Watch/listen to David Hogan’s YouTube Series on the subject of Raising the Dead: Session 1 — Session 2 — Session 3 — Session 4

6. Pray for and actively engage opportunities to raise the dead in your area by reaching out to friends when you hear that someone has passed away.

*https://www.counseling.org/docs/trauma-disaster/fact-sheet-9—vicarious-trauma.pdf

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